Blogging is part of my infinite nature

It was unseasonably warm today and the warmth radiating off the glass of the car, combined with the music of Eddy Vedder's first solo album (the soundtrack to Into the Wild) put me in a reflective mood. The weather was resisting change, still clinging to a fragment of summer, but one could also sense the hopelessness of the last days of warm weather, knowing that they must give way to the cold and snow of winter sooner or later. It was more sad than noble...the weather not wanting to succumb, but knowing it must...everything on the cusp. Our lives are on the cusp, constantly oscillating (in temperament and thought, if not physical circumstance) between known and unknown, complacency and adventure, domestication and wildness. Herman Hesse writes in Steppenwolf that in order to find ones' true self (to be born new and free) one must destroy the world she currently inhabits, including all habits, conceptions, biases, paradigms. There is probably something liberating about destroying all our notions of the world. But the real dilemma is how to implement or live the new paradigm once the epiphany has occurred. Like autumn hanging onto summer before giving way to winter, we grasp pathetically at what we know and lack the courage to plunge into a new way of life, perhaps because we sense that it will be cold and snowy, dark and lonely. How long will it take Astrid to form a sense of the world and her place in it? How long till she is able to destroy it and replace it with another? Will she be able to act on her new vision? Will that vision have to be destroyed as well? How often must we shed the warmth of a summer world for the stinging cold of winter? This year, my winter shall take on new meaning, new poignancy, and new life...afterall, I bought myself a new set of twin tip, all mountain skis from Blue House...that and we are having a baby.